Why I…

Disclaimer: This post was written at two completely different times of day and under two different mindsets.

AM: Why I workout.

1. I don’t feel like the same person when I miss a workout. I feel incomplete, depressed even. My workout is like waking up on the right side of the bed. It’s how I get my day right.
2. Even seven minutes counts. There’s not really any excuse not to get any exercise in at all. Sometimes it’s a short walk, sometimes it’s a seven minute workout, and sometimes it’s 45 minutes of cardio or weight lifting. All that matters is that I do something. 
3. I want to live as long as possible. My goal is to be as strong as Ernestine Shepherd. I had to look up “strongest oldest woman” to figure out her name just now, but she’s known for being old and ripped. I assume she’s gonna set a Guiness record for longevity.
4. I’m vain. Every morning…after I workout…I take a selfie. And sometimes I check that selfie throughout the day just to remind myself how awesome I am. I want a body issue of Sports Illustrated dedicated to me. Or at the least, to look so bomb at the beach that folks let all of their ice cream melt while they stare in awe.
5. It’s easier to stay fit than to work your way back. I’ve always been “a little person” and I count my blessings because I know it can’t be easy to lose weight. Almost every day my evil coworkers distribute dangerous delectables and almost as often I fail. I eat. I hate myself. And then I bounce back. It must be horrible having to cut out all the wonderful things in life just to maintain your weight!

PM: Why I love alcohol. (Bet you didn’t see that coming.)

1. It makes me feel awesome. A glass of wine will have me feeling like the wisest, happiest, funniest person on earth. And I probably am, until I wake up the next morning.
2. Variety is the spice of life. Too many years were spent drinking lemonade and orange juice. You need to try lemonade with something blue, orange juice with some tequila, and a drink that tastes like cinnamon.
3. It’s just expensive enough to keep you from overdoing it. Unless you have no concept of a budget, there will be a part of you that says, “No I can’t drink until I get a hangover, because I can’t afford it.” And you’ll stop, and you’ll stay lit instead of fried.
4. It helps you realize what’s important. Having a drink changes my priorities. I stop worrying about how forward I am, how I shouldn’t dance to the music, and what’s happening at work, and just focus on what’s important – sleep. Yep, alcohol makes me want to take a nap, and naps are what matter.
5. There’s a chance it prevents heart attacks. At least if you drink red wine. Either way, that’s a chance I’d like to take.

I share these things to say, a balanced life is the only life to live. Chase what matters and forget the rest.

Final disclaimer: drinking in moderation is awesome. Binge and underage drinking are not. Stay thirsty my friends.