Romance.

I’ve been reading this book called When It’s Real and wow–I can’t put it down. What I love about this book is that I get to live vicariously through Vaughn, a girl who gets the guy of her childhood fantasies. I don’t want to spoil the book before Saturday, but I will say that the guy is a pop star and Vaughn is the girl-next-door. Ya know…me. And the guy could be any of the celebrities I’ve been helplessly in love with since I was six years old. A few funny stories about that:

1. The first pop star I fell in love with was Usher. Somehow my mom let me listen to the My Way album when I was practically a baby. I played it on repeat in a big black boom box that I broke in a raging fit during puberty. To this day, I still love Usher, but there was something especially adorable about young Usher. Likewise, I’ve loved Justin Timberlake since the Bye, Bye, Bye days. Somehow I saw past the ramen noodle haired facade, and appreciated the talent that keeps him relevant today.
2. My first, serious celebrity crush was on Omarion from B2K. He was the lead singer, which automatically grants him bonus points in my book, but he always played the good guy. He could sing, he could dance, and he could tell J-Boog how to get his girl back – with a puppy. My first concert was The Scream Tour starring B2K, IMX, my mother, and a jersey dress. I loved Omarion for a couple months and then his bandmate, J-Boog, cut his hair and I lost my damn mind. I suddenly became indifferent toward Omarion, almost veering toward disgust, and I fell hard for J-Boog. I’m laughing now thinking of a moment in my life where I printed a picture of his face and cried over it because I knew he would never go for me. Ah, to be young.
3. After B2K, there were Chris Brown and Trey Songz. In the early days they both seemed so sweet, like Luther Vandross’ children. Today I see them for the sex-pots they truly are, but that didn’t stop me from getting VIP tickets to the Between the Sheets Tour a couple Valentine’s Days ago. The awesome thing about Chris Brown entering the scene, was that he was within dating range. It wasn’t creepy and impossible to imagine myself with him. I daydreamed about meeting Chris on my prettiest teenage day, and acting all nonchalant so I wouldn’t appear like just another fan. He’d open up to me because I was ‘different’ and we’d exchange numbers and love notes until we became celeb-official. Yeah, never happened, but this makes my next story extra funny.
4. Next there’s Big Sean, the awkward guy that I accidentally fell for because his albums stayed with me a whole summer. I remember seeing the I Do It video and being totally unimpressed, but then I heard Finally Famous 1 and 3 and did a 180. When I found out I could see him in concert and meet him for less than 100 dollars, I jumped at it. This was my chance to play my cards and be the cool chick to steal his heart. A couple hours before the concert he was standing within four feet of me and I was too scared to move. My cousin pushed me to grow some balls, but they remained completely nonexistent. Fortunately, a photo included in the deal so I had no choice but to stand close to him and smile. He didn’t automatically fall for my beauty and charm like I’d hoped, but I can’t totally blame him since I suck at nonchalance. My plan failed. I console myself with the thought that he was looking straight at me while I rapped all the words to his songs and that maybe he loved me for at least ten seconds that night.
5. Lately though, I’ve been off pop stars. Actors are where it’s at! It all started with Kingsman and Taron Egerton. The problem is, I went to see the movie with my dear-friend Becki and…let’s just say we’re not friends anymore. Just kidding! We can be friends until I meet him and he’s officially mine. Taron Egerton is not only wonderful for his accent–it’s his smile, his arms, his charm, his wink, and this video I just googled that melted me to the floor. https://youtu.be/ZGjg–Tcwuw When Kingsman 2 comes out, I’ll probably fall for him all over again, but for now my top two celebrities are Theo James and Omari Hardwick. One is just barely within dating range and the other…is well…not, but I can still dream. If I could meet a guy with eyes that smolder like Theo James and the muscles and mind of Omari Hardwick, I’d be fainting all over the place.

I wanted to this post to be about my somehow conquering my desperation, but some things never change. As I’m reading When It’s Real, I’m trying to imagine myself going on dates with Theo James and the picture still boggles my mind. I’m probably going to devour the rest of the book tonight because I’m anxious for the happily ever after. At the end, though, I’ll probably need some consoling, though because I’ll have to return to reality where it’s never real – it’s all just a dream.