If I had a million dollars.

What would you do with a million dollars? Have you really thought about it? Don’t worry, this isn’t a sales pitch, I’m just thinking. My thoughts used to end at “bomb ass house and a couple vacations,” but today I decided I’d do the same I would do in the event of the zombie apocalypse, fund a library.

Yep, I basically want to be the new Andrew Carnegie. I’ve given this a great deal of thought over the past year. In the event of the zombie apocalypse, half of my skills and possessions will become obsolete, but I’ll have to offer my neighbors something in exchange for space in their basement. I love my dog, too, so I can’t let them eat her or anything. I’ve gotta share my books. This can be the only reason why I feel compelled to spend so much money on books instead of just borrowing them from the library.

Besides, when the apocalypse comes, all the legit libraries and bookstores will be the first buildings to fall to ruin. They’ll need my knowledge. It’ll be like the Book of Eli where everybody wants the Bible, except I’m not memorizing shit. All the knowledge you seek will be in my living room.

I only buy the dopest books anyways. The ones with the bright covers that make you feel like you’re one with the Universe because you see them everywhere and everyone says good things about them. The books that are on the must read list for every legitimate reader you know. When you go on Goodreads, the book is just like “all 50 of your friends have rated this five stars.” Those books.

In the event of the apocalypse, my bookshelf will look like a collection of rare and priceless artifacts, but in case that never happens and I instead make a million, I’ll need to make a bomb ass library to have a similar impact. I need my collection to look like the library of Alexandria, except flame retardant.

So maybe I’ll be like Ptolemy. I just want people to learn and catch good vibes from good books.