Why I love the Kingsman movies.

I’m amazed at the number of people who haven’t even heard about the Kingsman movies. The second movie came out September 22, 2017 and I’ve been eagerly awaiting it since about September 2016. In fact, I was so hype after I bought tickets that I found several unnecessary ways to insert the movie into conversation.

Co-worker at 5:00 Thursday: Have a great evening!

Me: Have you seen Kingsman?”

Bartender: My boyfriend likes that dish.

Me: Do you like Colin Firth movies?

I was hype! But I have to be honest with you, my criteria for judging movies is pretty basic. If the movie has at least one actor I would risk it all for, features dope-ass action scenes, and goes light on the misery, I’m all in.

When I first saw Kingsman, I had no idea what to expect, but I knew two things: there’s no such thing as a bad Samuel L. Jackson movie, and Colin Firth is the middle-aged love of my life (have you seen Pride and Prejudice, Love Actually, King’s Speech?!). It turns out Taron Egerton is the actual man I plan to marry and he was all up and through that movie. Don’t let me forget to mention the movie takes place in London, so every time I heard Taron’s voice, I wet my…throat..with some water.

Anyways, the movie starts off with some violent action, and dope ass villainy. Samuel L. Jackson is an amazing hero, but he’s an even better villain. In this movie, Sammy Jack’s IDGAfuckery is amplified by his character’s lisp and inability to stomach blood.

Meanwhile, Taron Egerton is training to be a secret agent, a Kingsman, and going shirtless by night and fully tailored by day. By the time they introduce puppies, I’m like, that wasn’t even necessary, but I’ll take it. The action scenes are off the charts and the stakes are high. People across the entire globe are going to die if the Kingsman don’t step in. I was invested from the beginning to the end.

I’m gonna be honest with you now, though. The things I love about Kingsman: The Secret Service are the things that made Kingsman 2: The Golden Circle almost too much to bear.

• It was outrageous.
• It got weird, really weird.
• There were dozens of inventive deaths.
• The villain was cool, but also totally fucked up.
• There was another awkward sex scene.
• Colin Firth acted his ass off.
• Taron Egerton was incredibly loveable.

On top of that, the sequel added in Americans, politics, American politics, an actual famous musician, obnoxious southern accents, robots, true love, and a bunch of other shit that makes blowing someone’s head off seem like small potatoes.

The amount of processing I had to do after the sequel reminds me of how I felt after the big reveal at the end of The Prestige, but for completely different reasons. Kingsman 2 is just a wild, no holds barred kinda movie and I think they made it that way on purpose. If Colin Firth, Taron Egerton, Mark Strong, Halle Berry, Channing Tatum, Jeff Bridges, Julianne Moore and more can be here for it, I can too.

The spoiler for today is that there’s probably going to be a third movie, but why not? This series has practically invented a genre of its own. Some type of action, comedy, sex, charming, crime-fighting movie circus.

You’ve just gotta see it for yourself.